Death & Fame


When I die

I don't care what happens to my body

throw ashes in the air, scatter 'em in East River

bury an urn in Elizabeth New Jersey, B'nai Israel Cemetery

But l want a big funeral

St. Patrick's Cathedral, St. Mark's Church, the largest synagogue in 
Manhattan

First, there's family, brother, nephews, spry aged Edith stepmother 96, 
Aunt

Honey from old Newark,

Doctor Joel, cousin Mindy, brother Gene one eyed one ear'd, 
sister-in-law

blonde Connie, five nephews, stepbrothers & sisters their grandchildren,

companion Peter Orlovsky, caretakers Rosenthal & Hale, Bill Morgan--

Next, teacher Trungpa Vajracharya's ghost mind, Gelek Rinpoche, there 
Sakyong

Mipham, Dalai Lama alert, chance visiting America, Satchitananda Swami

Shivananda, Dehorahava Baba, Karmapa XVI, Dudjom Rinpoche, Katagiri &

Suzuki Roshi's phantoms

Baker, Whalen, Daido Loorie, Qwong, Frail White-haired Kapleau Roshis, 
Lama Tarchen --

Then, most important, lovers over half-century

Dozens, a hundred, more, older fellows bald & rich

young boys met naked recently in bed, crowds surprised to see each 
other,

innumerable, intimate, exchanging memories

"He taught me to meditate, now I'm an old veteran of the thousand day 
retreat --"

"I played music on subway platforms, I'm straight but loved him he loved 
me"

"I felt more love from him at 19 than ever from anyone"

"We'd lie under covers gossip, read my poetry, hug & kiss belly to belly 
arms round each other"

"I'd always get into his bed with underwear on & by morning my skivvies 
would be on the floor"

"Japanese, always wanted take it up my bum with a master"

"We'd talk all night about Kerouac & Cassady sit Buddhalike then sleep 
in his captain's bed."

"He seemed to need so much affection, a shame not to make him happy"

"I was lonely never in bed nude with anyone before, he was so gentle my 
stomach

shuddered when he traced his finger along my abdomen nipple to hips-- "

"All I did was lay back eyes closed, he'd bring me to come with mouth & 
fingers along my waist"

"He gave great head"

So there be gossip from loves of 1948, ghost of Neal Cassady commingling 
with flesh and 
youthful blood of 1997

and surprise -- "You too? But I thought you were straight!"

"I am but Ginsberg an exception, for some reason he pleased me."

"I forgot whether I was straight gay queer or funny, was myself, tender 
and 

affectionate to be kissed on the top of my head,

my forehead throat heart & solar plexus, mid-belly. on my prick, tickled 
with his 

tongue my behind"

"l loved the way he'd recite 'But at my back allways hear/ time's winged 
chariot hurrying near,' heads together, eye to eye, on a pillow --"

Among lovers one handsome youth straggling the rear

"I studied his poetry class, 17 year-old kid, ran some errands to his 
walk-up flat,

seduced me didn't want to, made me come, went home, never saw him again 
never wanted to... "

"He couldn't get it up but loved me," "A clean old man." "He made sure I 
came first"

This the crowd most surprised proud at ceremonial place of honor--

Then poets & musicians -- college boys' grunge bands -- age-old rock 
star Beatles,

faithful guitar accompanists, gay classical conductors, unknown high 
Jazz

music composers, funky trumpeters, bowed bass & french horn black 

geniuses, folksinger fiddlers with dobro tamborine harmonica mandolin 

autoharp pennywhistles & kazoos

Next, artist Italian romantic realists schooled in mystic 60's India, 
Late fauve 

Tuscan painter-poets, Classicdraftsman Massachusets surreal jackanapes

with continental wives, poverty sketchbook gesso oil watercolor masters 
from American provinces

Then highschool teachers, lonely Irish librarians, delicate 
bibliophiles, sex liberation troops nay

armies, ladies of either sex

"I met him dozens of times he never remembered my name I loved him 
anyway, true artist"

"Nervous breakdown after menopause, his poetry humor saved me from 
suicide hospitals"

"Charmant, genius with modest manners, washed sink, dishes my studio 
guest a week

in Budapest"

Thousands of readers, "Howl changed my life in Libertyville Illinois"

"I saw him read Montclair State Teachers College decided be a poet-- "

"He turned me on, I started with garage rock sang my songs in Kansas 
City"

"Kaddish made me weep for myself & father alive in Nevada City"

"Father Death comforted me when my sister died Boston l982"

"I read what he said in a newsmagazine, blew my mind, realized others 
like me out there"

Deaf & Dumb bards with hand signing quick brilliant gestures

Then Journalists, editors's secretaries, agents, portraitists & 
photography

aficionados, rock critics, cultured laborors, cultural historians come 
to 

witness the historic funeral

Super-fans, poetasters, aging Beatnicks & Deadheads, autograph-hunters, 
distinguished paparazzi, intelligent gawkers

Everyone knew they were part of 'History" except the deceased

who never knew exactly what was happening even when I was alive